Forgiveness Of A Past Life
by WriterChild
Summary: After Yule, Tamsin can't accept Bo's forgiveness, feeling that she is undeserving of the Succubus' love and friendship.
1. Eyes Both Brown And Blue

_"Tamsin I'm going to need your help, I can't do this without you."_

_"But if they make me candy then I can't hurt anyone anymore and everyone will like me."_

_"I like you."_

_"You won't like me when I confess the truth. I'm the reason the Wanderer found you. In a previous life, I hunted Fae fugitives for a price. I was a Valkyrie, I was the best and I was greedy. One look into his eyes and I knew I'd never really met true evil, not until then. I told myself I was powerless to refuse this beast, so I accepted his bounty to find a woman, I took comfort that the woman he described couldn't possibly exist. Eyes both brown and blue, virtuous, yet lustful. Neither Dark nor Light, yet both. So you see, you weren't supposed to be real and the fact that I helped that monster find you."_

_"Hey Tamsin, listen to me, none of that matter now, do you understand? Hey, I forgive you."_

* * *

"I forgive you."

_"I forgive you."_

Three words swirled in Tamsin's head for days, it was unbelievable to her. She was even more perfect than she remembered the Wanderer describing her as, but the more those three words that Bo uttered to her repeated, the more guilt washed over Tamsin and consumed her.

Her thoughts both surprised and crushed her. She's known, she'd known for a while.

_"Where do you get off being so perfect? Think you seen everything and then you see you."_

_"I'm alright, but I'm not perfect."_

_"Yes you are, to me you are. Your eyes are both brown and blue."_

_"Tamsin, what are you doing?"_

_"Your heart is both strong and gentle, you're virtuous, yet you're a Succubus. You shouldn't be."_

_"Be what?"_

_"Be real, be here."_

But she couldn't let herself believe it, say it or feel it, because Valkyrie's didn't deal in love.

* * *

"Have you seen Tam Tam?" Kenzi asked bouncing into the kitchen.

"No, I haven't seen her since Yule," Bo admitted, handing Kenzi a cup of coffee. "Have you?"

"I see her when I wake up in the middle of the night and she's passed out in my room, but she's always gone before I wake up and she comes in once I'm asleep," Kenzi said her eyes worried. "What happened between you two?"

"I already told you," Bo stated. "She was the reason the Wanderer found me, past life shit."

"I need to find her," Kenzi mumbled.

"I'm sure she's fine, Kenz."

"You don't know that and she's just a baby."

"She's not a baby anymore."

"I know, I guess. I just feel-"

"Protective over her?"

"Yeah."

"I have to go talk to Dyson, I'll ask him if he's heard from her and I'll let you know, okay?" Bo said walking over to the smaller woman and wrapping her arms around her.

* * *

"Now serving 69."

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see you here all alone," Evony said as she turned her chair dramatically to face the human standing at the door of her office. "Where's your owner?"

"I told you before, I am no one's pet," Kenzi spat. "I want to know where Tamsin is."

"And how exactly would I know where the little Valkyrie spends her days?"

"You're the leader of the dark, isn't keeping tabs on your people kind of your job?"

"It is, but I don't know where the Valkyrie is, but when you find her, tell her it would probably do her some good to return my phone calls, unless she wants to face my wrath."

"Your wrath?" Kenzi laughed. "Sure whatever," the human turned on her heel to leave, only to feel a hand close on her shoulder.

"You know, for a human, you've got a certain Fae quality about you," Evony said in a sweet, but still sour voice.

"I'm all about good quality," Kenzi said shrugging off the Morrigan's hand. "So do yourself a favour and don't touch the merchandise."

* * *

"Another," Tamsin said slamming her shot glass down onto the bar counter in front of drink.

"You do know that's it's only noon right?" Trick asked as he poured the Valkyrie another and handed her the bottle. "I have things to do, help yourself, but stay away from the top shelf."

Tamsin watched as the Blood King retreated and she sighed, laying her head against the cool wood, all the alcohol in the world couldn't help her misplace her feelings or drown her guilt. When she watched as Kenzi entered into the Dal, Tamsin quickly tried to hide, but it was too late.

"Yo Valkyrie, what the hell?" Kenzi called out, throwing her hands into the air.

"Oh hey Kenzi, I didn't see-"

"Save it, what the hell is up with you, where have you been?"

"Around."

"Well that's vague. The Morrigan's looking for you."

"I just had some things to sort out, things I'm still trying to sort out," Tamsin started. "And Evony can shove it, I don't want to deal with her anymore."

"She's the Morrigan, I don't think you have a choice."

"I know, but I just need time away from everything, time to geth my head around everything. I'm just learning and not liking the person I remember being."

"Does this have anything to do with your feelings for my Bestie?" Kenzi laughed as she reached over the bar and grabbed herself a bottle.

"How did you know?" Tamsin said looking at the human curiously.

"I see more than most," Kenzi shrugged. "It's easy to see when you're doing the watching and no one is really watching you."

"How come you never have to pay?" Tamsin wondered out loud. "You're the only person I've ever seen that doesn't get handed a bill by Trick at the end of the night."

Kenzi smiled and thought back to her arrangement with Bo's Grandfather, "I did him a favour a while back, he needed my help summoning a Lightening Bird."

"Ah," Tamsin said nodding her head.

"So you're really the reason the Wanderer found Bo Bo?" Kenzi asked turning on her stool to face the blonde woman.

"I am, I didn't think she was real, I don't understand how she's real."

"She forgives you."

"She shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"She should hate me for what I've done, I've lied, I've cheated to get what I want, I sent her to him," Tamsin whispered.

"You killed yourself to try and save her," Kenzi pointed out.

"But I didn't save her."

"At least you tried," Kenzi said pouring a shot for herself and one for Tamsin.

"I've never loved," Tamsin said as she threw back the shot and handed the glass to Kenzi who poured her another. "Valkyrie's don't love, we don't need it and I, in particular don't care for it, but when she hugs me-"

"It's safe," Kenzi smiled.

"It's love." Tamsin nodded.

"Why don't you tell her how you feel?"

"Weren't you listening, Valkyrie's don't do love, we don't do feelings, I'm the Harbinger of Death, Short stack. Not the Harbinger of Love and mushy shit." Tamsin said shaking her head, her eyes growing sad. "Plus she's got the Doc and Dyson, she doesn't need me."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kenzi said with a smile.

"Aren't you on Team Wolf?"

"I'm on Team Valkyrie," Kenzi smiled. "D-Man's awesome, but I have a soft spot for you."

"Why?"

"You helped Bo save my life and I see you differently now," Kenzi admitted. "I saw you as a baby, as someone that needed protecting."

"I have some crazy hair when I'm small," Tamsin said with a laugh.

"So full and lustrous," Kenzi agreed.

"Every time."

"Is that why you've been so MIA?"

"My hair? No I think it's under control now." Tamsin said lifting a hand and patting her own head

"No, you feel guilty about Bo?" Kenzi said smacking the woman's arm.

"I feel guilty, but she forgives me and I can't accept her forgiveness, I don't deserve it," Tamsin said shrugging her shoulders.

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Yeah, everyone deserves a second chance," Bo said rounding the corner.

"Bo," Kenzi and Tamsin said together.

"How much did you hear?" The Valkyrie asked as she watched Kenzi gather her belongings and leave the two Fae woman alone.

"Enough to know you and I definitely need to talk." Bo said taking Kenzi's seat and reaching for a bottle.

* * *

**R+R appreciated. Should I continue, I was just bored and started writing, but I think I might continue this.**


	2. Quid Pro Quo

_"Enough to know you and I definitely need to talk."_

* * *

"You like me?" Bo asked, quirking an eyebrow at the Valkyrie.

"I don't just drive my truck off a cliff for anyone," Tamsin said with a nervous laugh as she pushed herself off the stool and made her way across the Dal to the pool tables.

It was obvious to Bo that this wasn't a conversation the other woman wanted to have, but Bo couldn't just let go of what she had heard Tamsin telling Kenzi.

"Wanna play?" Tamsin asked tossing a pool cue to Bo and continuing to set up the billiard balls.

"Quid pro quo," Bo said grabbing the chalk from the ledge.

"Excuse me?" Tamsin asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Every ball I sink, you have to answer a question, honestly," Bo said passing the chalk to the blonde. "And for every ball you sink, you get to ask me a question."

"How do I know you're going to be honest?"

"How do I know you're going to be honest?" Bo countered. "Quid pro quo."

"I don't even know what that means," Tamsin said looking at Bo for more information.

Bo laughed and shook her head, "It just means that we put our trust in one another to tell the truth."

"The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God?" Tamsin said looking around. "Where's the Fae Bible, should we swear ourselves in?"

"There's a Fae Bible?" Bo asked in complete seriousness.

"Just break," Tamsin said shaking her head. Tamsin watched on bated breath, exhaling only when she knew she was safe for this round only as the pockets were still empty. "Red ball, right corner pocket," Tamsin lined up her shot and the ball went in.

"Ask away," Bo said with a wave of the hand.

"What are you scared of?" The Valkyrie asked, thinking back to the night of Yule.

Bo played with her pool cue for a moment and looked up at Tamsin, recounting the words she had said to Krampus, "I'm scared of making the wrong choice, of losing my friends and my family, I'm terrified," Bo said taking a breath. "Of what I'll become, of what I'm capable and of the Wanderer and what he'll make me. I'm scared of you."

"Why?" Tamsin asked, her head shooting up the very minute Bo said her.

"One question at a time, Valkyrie," Bo said eyeing the pool table. "Yellow stripe, side pocket," Tamsin and Bo both watch the ball roll across the table and sink into the pocket and Bo stood up with a smile on her face.

"Fine," Tamsin breathed out.

"Yule," Bo started. "You told me you were sorry and you kissed me."

"Is there a question in there somewhere Succubus?"

"Why?"

"I told you at Krampus' lair."

"I don't believe that that's why you kissed me, maybe that's what the apology was for, but not the kiss, so what was the kiss for?"

Tamsin ran a hand through her blonde hair and slumped against the wall, "It was for every time I hurt you, when I really just wanted to protect you. Every time you proved me wrong and everytime you taught me that I can be more than what I am, that I don't have to kill or fight to be happy. It was for everytime I wanted to kiss you, but didn't."

"You know th-"

"Green, side pocket," Tamsin mumbled, cutting off whatever Bo was about to say in response to her confession. "My question," she said when the ball joined the yellow one. "Why are you scared of me?" There was something about the way Tamsin asked the question that made Bo feel sorry for her, her voice was small and sad. "Wait, before you answer," she said walking back to the bar and grabbing the shot glasses and a bottle of Trick's finest.

"Shots before or after each question?" Bo asked as Tamsin set up the shots on the edge of the table.

"Whenever we want," Tamsin laughed. "Now, why are you scared of me?"

Bo watched as the woman threw back her shot and poured herself another. "You don't tiptoe around me, you make me feel things that both Dyson and Lauren have never made me feel. And ever since we met, you've been this big ol' bug up my butt, but I wouldn't change it. It's not so much that I'm scared of you, I'm scared of not having you, of you-"

"Dying?"

"Yeah, dying or disappearing, green stripe, left pocket."" Bo said pouring herself a shot and downing it. "We know you drove your truck off the cliff, but why?"

"I already told you, I thought if I died he couldn't find you anymore."

"Now the truth."

"I saw him."

Who?"

"The Wanderer," Tamsin said unable to look at Bo, "I saw him and I was trying to kill him, but he went up in smoke and my truck went over the cliff."

"So you didn't intentionally go over the cliff?"

"I knew I was going to, whether I hit him or not," Tamsin said. "I didn't save you though."

"You tried."

"I tried, but I also brought him to you. I helped that Monster-"

"I forgave you for that already?"

"Why?" Tamsin shouted throwing her hands in the air and tossing the pool cue. "How? How could you forgive me, after everything I've done?"

Bo pushed herself up onto the pool table, patting the space beside her for Tamsin to do the same. "I can't punish you for what you did in a past life," Bo answered honestly. "We've all done things we aren't proud of," she finished taking a sip straight from the bottle and handing it to Tamsin.

"You weren't supposed to be real," Tamsin whispered. "I still don't understand how you're real."

"Neither do I," Bo admitted. "I don't understand how I'm the one that everyone seems to think is the rightful hero or whatever, I didn't even know I was Fae until a few years ago, until then I just thought I was a monster."

"You're not a monster," Tamsin quickly replied. "I've met true monsters, you are not one, not by a long shot."

"You thought I was," Bo said searching Tamsin's eyes.

"When?"

"When we first met."

"I didn't, I didn't think you-" Tamsin took a breath and bit her bottom lip, deep in thought. "I didn't think you were a monster, I just needed, in a way, to prove that you weren't perfect."

"I'm not perfect," Bo said leaning closer to Tamsin.

"You are to me," Tamsin whispered placing a hand on Bo's cheek. "Eyes both brown and blue-"

"Kiss me," Bo whispered as her lips connected with Tamsin's in a sweet kiss. As Bo's lips began to melt against Tamsin's she tasted a salty wetness and pulled back to see tears streaking down the Valkyrie's face. "Tamsin," she breathed out .

"I have to go," Tamsin blurted, her words fast and laced with an emotion Bo couldn't quite place.

Before Bo could stop her, Tamsin was gone once again.

* * *

"Kenz?" Bo called out when she got home. "Kenzi?"

"Hey Bo Bo," Kenzi said rounding the corner. "What's wrong?"

"Hug, now," Bo demanded in a sad voice that was reserved only for her best friend to hear.

Kenzi walked over to Bo and wrapped her arms around the older woman. "What happened?"

"She's so difficult," Bo mumbled as she pulled back from Kenzi. "Do we have ice cream?"

Kenzi smiled and walked over to the freezer pulling out a container of ice cream, passing it to Bo with a spoon. "We talkin' bout Tam Tam or?"

"Yeah, we are."

"What happened after I left."

"We talked. We kissed. She ran."

Kenzi hummed and nodded her head, "Valkyries don't do love," she mumbled. "She's scared," Kenzi said when she noticed Bo looking at her curiously. "Give her time," she said, "I'm sure she'll come around."

"I like her Kenz," Bo admitted to the girl.

"I know," Kenzi said wrapping her arms around her best friend, "I know."


End file.
